While doing the Artist’s Way course I wasn’t sure where it would lead. I had no idea what form my creativity would take. I did start a degree in textiles (until I got pregnant with my twin boys) but for my first artist’s date I decided to create an ambitious appliquéd cushion cover, and somehow although I loved the idea, I got bored after a few hours and still haven’t finished it. So I wasn’t sure that textiles was the right path for me. But towards the end of the course an idea started to materialise, I didn’t force it, it just lay in gestation and slowly formed into something meaningful and whole. I think it’s the first time I’ve let an idea bubble up gently without forcing it out. I love Julia Cameron’s comparison of creativity to birthing, I have always felt like creativity is a really painful process – like childbirth, but this time I let my baby of an idea grow until it was ready to pop out more gracefully.
I am going to describe what I want to do, to set the intention (and so I can’t wriggle out of it in fear of failure). The person in my family with whom I identify most with is my maternal grandmother. I was very close to her and unfortunately she died when I was only 17, so I never knew her as an adult. As she lay slowly dying of cancer, she told me about her youth in the 20s and 30s, when she was an avant-garde bohemian, way ahead of her time, who had all sorts of exciting escapades in pre-war Europe and hung out with the Bloomsbury set. It must have been an exciting existence, cut brutally short by WWII. My grandmother was Jewish and her parents did not survive the war, she only managed to through a few synchronicitous miracles. She showed me her beautiful photo albums from the time but I was only a teenager and I didn’t fully take in all this information. Sadly I don’t remember any of her stories. She left me her photo albums which my mother eventually gave to me when she trusted that I was mature enough to look after them properly. It took quite a long time for me to reach that level of responsibility!. The photos are delightful and some of them not what one would expect of one’s grandmother (who would have been 100 if she was still alive). I put some of my favourites on Flickr but I’ll reveal a few here.
So I have decided to use these photos to make some textile pieces, probably in the form of art quilts, as for a long time I have been fascinated by the precious heirloom quality of textiles that have been handed down through generations and where women have taught their daughters to sew. When I was pregnant, my aunt found a pile of fabric scraps in her attic that were left over from dresses that my grandmother made in the 70s. There are lots of beautiful Liberty floral prints that I will use in these quilts. I am so excited to have finally hit on a project that I really feel from the heart. I will keep you posted on its creation.
Until last weekend I don’t think it had ever occurred to me to create a blog. I spend too much time in cyberspace anyway and I recognise it as a block, something passive I do to procrastinate. But over the past few months I have discovered some amazing crafty blogs showcasing women’s (it always seems to be women) creations and documenting what seems to me to be an unachievable but idyllic earth-mother lifestyle of sewing, knitting and baking. Obviously not in the Stepford wife domestic slave style of previous generations but in the spirit of reclaiming these things that the feminism of the 1970’s tossed away to be the same as men.
A couple of weeks ago I paid a lot of money to a nutritionist to be told for the umpteenth time that I needed to avoid gluten (and probably dairy). Every time I am told this I stick my head in the sand because I am one of those few women who has a healthy relationship with food. I am lucky enough to never have had an eating disorder and I eat a fairly healthy diet although I do have a weakness for Green & Blacks Almond Milk Chocolate. Generally I don’t consume food with guilt and am fearful of getting neurotic about what I eat if I cut gluten and dairy out of my diet. But it also hit me that it’s ridiculous to carry on throwing money at nutritionists and ignore their advice so this time I thought I’d give it a go. I decided to search the internet for some good gluten-free recipes and the first website I found was Gluten-Free Girl, an uplifting account of becoming gluten-free after being diagnosed with Celiac disease. I loved this woman’s positive, joyful voice and almost immediately ordered her book. Now I usually buy books and let them gather dust on my bedside table for a few years but this time I devoured her book as hungrily as a bar of Green & Blacks during a blood sugar dip. And on a rare day when the sceptical, cynical monkey on my back (also known as my inner critic) was silent, I suddenly had the urge to start a blog. A couple of months ago, before starting The Artist’s Way course I don’t think I would have felt I had anything to write about. But the course has so inspired me (and reminded me that I have a strong drive to inspire others) that I thought it would be a fabulous way to document my creative adventures as well as motivation to continue this artistic journey once the course is finished. So here I am. And thank you Gluten-Free Girl, for inspiring me with your ‘glass half full’ enthusiasm and your delicious recipes.
OK, It’s the eighth week of my Artist’s Way course but I’m on week 10 in the book (it’s a 10 week course but the book is 12 chapters long, so designed to complete over 12 weeks). For my Artist’s Date this week I chose to photographically connect with nature using my new digital camera and had intended on visiting a beautiful garden somewhere in Sussex. But at the last moment I remembered that I’d been meaning to visit The Community Food Project, a huge allotment space on the edge of Brighton that is open to volunteers on Sundays (and Thursdays). So I got into my car, blasting out an old Dubtribe CD that reflected my mood perfectly, full of joy and anticipation, and drove towards the telephone mast that towers over East Brighton in Whitehawk. What looked like an industrial wasteground soon made way for a tranquil oasis of pastoral beauty on a hill overlooking Brighton and the sea.
Some years ago I decided to give up my career as a web designer to follow a lifelong dream and study textile design. I spent a year working very hard at Chelsea School of Art in London where I specialised in Stitch. However the universe had other plans for my creativity and during the summer holidays I found I was pregnant with twins. I had to leave Chelsea and so I moved back to Brighton where I gave birth to two boys in 2003. It was the start of a very bumpy ride as I had some mysterious and debilitating health problems which turned out to be MS. I was quite heartbroken to have abandoned my dreams of living a creatively fulfilling life and as much as I wished to fill that hole with motherhood, I yearned for more. Two years ago I became a single mother so I had very little time to indulge in anything artistically, particularly as any free time I had was spent looking after my health. That has been a journey of discovery in itself and I have become very involved in personal development as well as meeting all kinds of amazing healers on the way and finally getting a yoga habit. My twins started school this year so I eventually gave in to my creative hunger and decided to enrol in a course on The Artist's Way in April this year, even though I had no idea how I would find the childcare or time. But I trusted that things would fall into place and magically they did. And I haven't looked back. The floodgates of my creativity are still only just ajar - I have so many ideas but not much free time, but I am looking forward to the artistic adventures I am sure to have, whatever they may be. Right now I want to sculpt from clay, paint, draw, take photos and of course make beautiful things from fabric, but I have no idea where all this will lead and it's the not knowing that is an adventure. I am starting this blog with some photos of my embroidered textile designs from my degree course but I intend to record my weekly artist's date as well as anything else I conjure up. The Artist's Way isn't solely concerned with artistic pursuits, it is about leading a vibrantly juicy life, identifying and following one's dreams and injecting some childlike joy back into the stressful lives we adults lead. It's about noticing (and creating) magic and synchronicity, which is an adventure in itself.
